I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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