only if we run a train.
done.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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