I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
