Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
