Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
