a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
