I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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