broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
