hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
