How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
