How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
