better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
