like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
