Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
