Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
