Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
True strength comes from lack of pants
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
