real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
