East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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