Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
