I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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