It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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