weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
