Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
