Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
