You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
