we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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