I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My cat gives me a boner
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
