I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
