YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
