sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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