Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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