my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
