No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
