Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
