i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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