Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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