Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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