I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
