just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
