tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
