I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just pee around me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
