UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
