Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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