are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
