i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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