It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
