Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
