Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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