Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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