omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
