I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
