I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
