How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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