why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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