The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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