How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
