I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
