I'm gonna have a badass scar
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
