her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
