God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize