So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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