forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
