How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize