some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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