the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
