Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize