The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
