You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
