You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
