I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
